Ed's New Groove
by Cat-and-Kit
Summary: Ed struts into Central Headquarters with a brand new look. Jaws drop. Crackiness level dangerously high. ::Yaoi::


This one-shot idea came to me very randomly, literally out of no where. I figured, it's short enough, so I just whipped it up on the spot. Here ya go kiddies, enjoy!

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Ed's New Groove

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The front doors of the Central Military Headquarters Cafeteria opened with a booming slam. The sixty or so occupants (mainly composed of males) immediately shut up and looked towards the source of the noise, most rather annoyed at the interruption. 

What they saw shocked the hell out of them.

Pretty much everyone at Central knew of one of their youngest members, the famous 15-year-old National Alchemist; Edward Elric. Most everyone had seen the short teen at least once, stalking around in his long red coat and usually yelling at someone about an off-comment to his height. Respected to a moderate degree by most, Ed had a pretty good reputation around HQ.

Well... Maybe not anymore...

Leaning against the doorframe, sunlight filtering in around him, Ed looked out at the sea of military personnel. He wore a seductive smirk, and his posture would not be exactly considered masculine. But that wasn't entirely what was dropping jaws, it was what he was **wearing…**

Tight jeans hugged his lower body, so tight in fact that it was a wonder how he got them on. A glistening red tank top fit like a second skin, showing off his abdomen to the world, and all of his arms. The collar was so low cut it was a good thing he was a guy, else he would have had some problems. His long golden hair was loose, and fell over his shoulders and back.

Decorated with bracelets and a thick black choker (as well as a red ribbon around his wrist), he was a sight that sure made a statement. Many of the personnel at various tables started to question their sexuality right then and there.

Ed abandoned the door, and walked out proudly and unabashed at the shocked stares and whispers. The bright rays from the windows played on his top and made it look like water flowing in a creek. He walked quickly, though his hips swayed invitingly, and his arms played along with the motion as well.

Arriving at his destination, he stopped at a table near the other end of the large room, where Roy and Hughes and some other higher-ranked officials sat.

Roy turned in his seat, staring up at Ed in all his sparkly and sexy glory. His mouth moved, but no words came forth. His eyes were as wide as they could physically go. Ed grinned flashily at Hughes for a second, noticing the other man had taken a quick picture of him, though looked as shocked as Roy did.

"F-F-F- Fullmetal? W-What-"

"Shh..." He bent down and wrapped his hands around the older man's shoulders, pressing his lips to the parted ones in front of him hungrily. His tongue slid across Roy's bottom lip, but before the taller male could get over his shock (much less _react)_, he pulled away and grinned sexily at him.

"Mmm, Roy tastes good.." He purred. His arms slid away, and he turned, giving Roy a full view of what the tight jeans had to offer. He paced away, half the room's occupants staring at him, and left out the very doors he'd walked in through. The other half of the room was looking at Roy.

Roy was staring open-mouthed at the door, a series of "Ah.. What.. He.." playing over and over again. Hughes looked down at his Custom-Made PH Instant-Develope Camera. (The PH stands for Plot Hole.) The picture popped out of the bottom and a perfect shot of the insanity that walked through the door was caught on it.

"Woah..." He muttered lamely.

The general hub-bub of the room that had started up silenced again as the front doors opened a second time and none-other than Ed was walking in. Normally-garbed this time, he grinned nervously at the wide-eyed glances and covered whispers that the room seemed to direct at him.

Making his way over to Roy's table, he handed the older male a folder and quirked an eyebrow at the never-ending expression of shock. Ed glanced around and blushed. He turned to Hughes.

"Hughes, why is everyone staring at me?" He whispered, feeling unnerved by the man's expression as well. He poked the picture towards him and tried to say something, but whatever it was, it obviously failed the test to leave his mouth. Ed glanced down at the picture, confused.

When it registered what exactly he was looking at, all hell broke loose.

_**"GAH! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!"**_

As if the answer hit him immediately after screaming, he turned murderous, and exploded out of the cafeteria, throwing tables, chairs and people out of his way in his haste to get out the door.

Amidst the smoke and clatter and general mess of the room, everyone heard the chibi roaring as he raced around Central HQ.

**"ENVY I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"**

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End file.
